Anniversary: Three Years

This is how our relationship started.

Well I guess, back up. It started years ago when we were a couple of kids in 6th grade. Zac said I never noticed him (partially true) and he just stood in awe of me (love it). We went "out" in 8th grade. He was cute but more than that... he was edgy. The seemingly bad kid that could keep you laughing and doing things you never thought you'd do. I found myself etching our names together on the cardboard side of my notepads. He liked me but wasn't clingy. Never tried to more than he was for me... I loved that. He would hold my hand and we would run up and down the school street. I never got in trouble but I loved that he always did. We were always the two kids left waiting for our parents to pick us up. We would talk about silly stuff, interesting stuff... then deep stuff. He dumped me for a church skank... but hey, I understand, we were only 14. :)

The above picture is from senior year summer. A bunch of us went to Elitches one Saturday and on the way home, Zac made a move. He held my hand while we were dozing off to sleep. It felt natural yet when I got home that night... I couldn't believe it.

Throughout the years, Zac has been the guy my other boyfriends told me I couldn't hang out with. "I don't know Mackenzie, you guys just have a history and chemistry and stuff" is what I would hear nagging all the time. Zac made me comfortable. He made me laugh. I never changed myself to be with him. I told him everything. I would call him (or IM him...ha, member that?) and we'd talk about boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, school, stupid stories, funny stories... he created such a longing in me, even when I didn't know it.

We would spend hours talking on the phone even as young as 14. I would plug my phone into the fax line at home and we would talk until we fell asleep... often for 5 or 6 hours. It was innocent and whimsical. 

Then college.

For those of you who know my story. I won't bore you with all the details. Zac and I weren't dating when I got pregnant, we weren't "in love" when I got pregnant... we were just "having fun."

So I thought.

I always feared the love Zac had for me, even at the young age of 14. There was something that he possessed that longed for me in a deeper way that I wasn't used to. It made me uncomfortable. Can you believe this is still something I struggle with? 3 years into being married to him?

Being pregnant with Zac created a distance at times between us. Our friendship was based on laughter, excitement, random adventures and deep chats.... and suddenly.... life became really serious. It was about appointments, responsibilities, duty... we were a couple of teenagers who weren't ready for all that seriousness, and yet, we remained friends with one another.

We loved each other. We just didn't know how that would look now.

Life gets complicated. So you grow.

We started to bond.

For maybe the first time in our lives together, which at that point was about 8 years of friendship.

We had Cohen Michael on August 26, 2007. The day our lives changed forever.

There we were. A couple of 19 year old kids trying to do life together.

It was raw. Super raw.

We wanted to build a life together but not really sure how. We argued... a lot. I cried... a lot. We dug through a lot of crap together. It was the most painful and wonderful thing I ever did.

We started to create new memories as a family.

Memories that were meaningful and healthy.

First Christmas together as a family.

Then. Marriage talk. I felt that we started over after we had Cohen. We both agreed that getting married just because we had a child together would be a mistake and unfair to Cohen. We loved each other but could we live a life together? We weren't sure. We desired to see growth in one another. Maturing needed to happen.... And then....

Engaged. Happy. Zac surprised me with a diamond. One of the best days of my life.

Then...

Marriage. Beautiful.

Now, let me just tell you, that the first year sucked. Honest to God it was so stressful and I feel like I blocked most of it from my mind. HA. We always say that each year gets better and better. And it does. We rode a lot of huge waves but truthfully, staying consistent and current with one another has kept us as close as it does. He embraces my sensitivity and I embrace his need for freedom. 

Then... TRIPS! Zac and I believe in time together taking adventures. We need time just the two of us. And a lot.

Breckenridge. 3 days of Ghost Adventures, sexy time and hiking in the snow.

Chicago trip together as a family.

Estes Park hiking. Drinking way too much at the hotel and finding ELK!

Family pictures.

Wedding as a family.

Love this man.

You and me baby.

My Birthday 2011.

My Zacy has given me the gift of two children, of encouraging my growth, listening to my dramatic sorrows, itching my legs, rubbing my back, creating new memories and being consistent in his ways.

Three years we celebrate tomorrow but truly most of my life, I have had Zac there. My friend. My buddy.

That's what marriage is... someone you like to do life with. It's more important than any other relationship besides the one with God.

I can't think of anyone in the world to do life with...

Happy 3 years Zac. I would do it all over.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Lao Tzu