Making Sense in the Nonsensicle

I find that there are times in life when things just seem...nonsensicle. Nothing is lining up they way you thought. The car, the house, the kids, the husband....everything seems to be falling apart. The cosmos is sending all sorts of negative karma your direction.

This happens to me. Yes, yes.

Often times I think that the world around me is falling apart before my glazed eyes. But then I think...

Maybe I'm the one who is off balance and seeing the world in a way I shouldn't?

Part of being a Type A, highly motivated and driven individual is the need to understand.

IF I JUST UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON I CAN FIX IT!!!!!

I am at a point in my life where I don't understand a whole lot.

I am adjusting to the changes that come when siblings get older, married, move away...

I am adjusting to firmly establishing my identity apart from my life under my parent's house...

I am adjusting to the reality that Cohen understands and perceives life entirely. The memories we are making he will probably remember...

I am adjusting to the fact that I am graduating in May and don't know what's next...

I am adjusting to resurfaced pain of sin done against me...

I am adjusting my health, realizing that I have not been taking care of it like I should...

When all of these adjustments sweep in like a thundering tidal wave it can be....well... nonsensical.

I hold fast the call over my life and I am eagerly pursuing His heart for me.

So I have made a few changes....

1. I am doing yoga 3 times a week an hour at a time for relaxation purposes
2. I have eliminated caffeine from my diet completely
3. I am not allowing Cohen to sleep in our bed!! I never sleep!!
4. I am allowing myself to feel more and not to fear my pain but embrace it
5. I am going to bake more even if I don't eat any of it
6. I am going to take more alone time for myself so I can be a better wife and mother
7. I am going to relinquish my fears of falling apart
8. I am going to release those who have hurt me and truly forgive
9. I will concentrate on my homework diligently and finish the race strong
10. I will find at least one thing to laugh about everyday
11. I will spend time talking with God instead of at him.

**I will make sense in the nonsensical**