8th Street Wal-Mart

I met Jesus today. More than once.

I had an hour or so to kill so I decided to pick up items for school tomorrow. Paper, pencils, notebooks… you name it. Being close to my new downtown home I ventured into the 8th street Wal-Mart.
It was insanely busy.

As I walked toward the doors to enter in about twelve Wal-Mart employees were sitting on the ground in a circle. Each of them looked homely, sad, dirty but ultimately…forgotten. I stared into these faces for awhile as I made my way inside. I excused myself as I ran into a little boy, about Cohen’s age who had snot on his lips and a single mom yelled at him to stay closer to her.

Oh Lord, I just wanted to get some office supplies.

I ignored the long lines and hoped by the time I wanted to leave there would be an open lane so I wouldn’t have to wait. I was impatient. Why is everybody out today? It’s not like this at the Monument Wal-Mart where I have gone for years!

Oh Lord, you are teaching me a lesson.

I felt stares in the back of my head as I decided either the yellow or blue folder. An elderly woman was looking at the tape and stopped to stare at me awhile.

I kept thinking…I agree lady, what the heck am I doing at THIS Wal-Mart?

She had oversized glasses on and smelled like a nursing home. She was overweight and walked with a limp …. I watched her as I decided on the yellow folder. She had no help with her. No one holding her hand as she limped along in the aisle or anyone to carry her oxygen tank.

What if this was your grandma Mackenzie?

Ah yes, and then you speak Lord.

As she walked away I asked her if there was anything I could help her find or anything she needed help with.

She stared at me and had to think about her words… I can’t reach the masking tape, could you grab it for me? I was going to find a clerk … she mumbled and then half smiled at me with no teeth.

I’ll be happy to grab that for you. I handed her the masking tape and gave her a big smile. She told me that her husband had just passed away and that she needed to pack many of his items. It truthfully broke my heart. She began to limp away… I told her to have a blessed day. She walked back to me and she shook my hand.

Ok Lord… I’m listening.

I gathered all my items and headed to the checkout line. The only one without a huge line was a mother with two kids. I knew it was where I needed to be. I stood behind her quietly. Her children were in one cart and she had an entire grocery cart full in the other. Her little boy looked to be about five and her little girl maybe one. He scanned item after item and she counted her money… all in ones. She was dropping coupons, money, keys… you name it. I believe I bent over three times to help her pick up something. She was frazzled, out of it and kept eyeing the world around her as if she knew she was being judged.

No wedding ring. Stripper boots. Skinny as a rail. She was so lost and so broken. It reeked from the inside out.

The total came to almost a hundred dollars… she counted out her huge stack of ones and fives, she was three dollars short. She rolled her eyes and told the man to put back the milk…

I already knew what I needed to do.

I told her, I’ll spot you, no worries. She looked at me suspiciously and told me that she didn’t need pity and that she just forgot the rest of her cash at home.

Ok God, Not exactly my ideal outcome in this situation.

She looked at me dead in the eyes and said …If you knew what it was like to be a single mom you would understand that I don’t need your charity because you feel bad for me. Forget about it, it’s fine!

I was shocked, hurt and then proceeded to say that at one point I WAS a single mom and that I understand the pain of judgment and others trying to take pity on me. I told her that all I wanted to do is pay for her milk for her kids. That’s it.

She paused for awhile…then nodded her head.

I handed the cashier, whose face had turned bright red, a five. She nodded her head again as he handed her the receipt and I told her that God sees her. She nodded and left. Just like that.

I paid for my items and left the store that was full of neglected elderly, single mothers, poor families and distraught hearts. I prayed for her…and her kids. That she would see Jesus in what had happened… not religion…church…pity…chari

ty….whatever.

I got in my car…This was no Monument Wal-Mart. This is real life. This is real pain.

The Lord spoke to me on my drive home...

Mackenzie I bless you to bless others... I love you to love others... those words played over and over in my head...still do.

I often wonder if we cared about our neighbors like we do for those in Haiti how much we could change the face of America?

What about the lives of the widows and orphans at the 8th street Wal Mart.

A lot to think about and be grateful for.

Lord give me the strength to obey your heart’s desire…everytime.

James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Isaiah 1:17
Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.

Hebrews 13:2
Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.

Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History.... Right?

I was talking to a girlfriend recently and she mentioned to me that she was frustrated that she had done all the right things, made the right choices, said no to all those "bad things" yet for some reason things weren't really working out for her. No job lined up, no amazing man pounding at her door... just a whole lot of... nothing.

At the time I felt bad. Really bad. I imagined that it WOULD be difficult for someone to stay faithful when their faithfulness seems in vain. Seems that is.

Faithful is defined as:

1.

strict or thorough in the performance of duty: a faithful worker.

2.

true to one's word, promises, vows, etc.

3.

steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant: faithful friends.

She is all of these things. She has stayed true to her faith, her friends, her morality, her commitment to work and ultimately lives day to day being completely faithful. I pondered this... I began to think that faithfulness as it is described here is just an adjective. Faithful is also a noun....

A noun meaning:

the faithful:

a.

the believers, esp. members of a Christian church

b.

the body of loyal members of any party or group.

My friend is the noun faithful. She is part of a body of loyal members to a group. But not just any group. The body of Christ. It takes the loneliness out of just "being faithful." How often do we go through the motions of being faithful but forget we are THE faithful. It's not just a lifestyle... it is a commitment to excellence. It is realizing not what we are but who we were. Our faithfulness is the small choices reflects the condition of our heart.

Every walk of faith requires of us a sacrifice...or should I say...sacrifices. Often times there are no immediate rewards and sometimes faithfulness can seem...so... boring? I think of my friend and the life she will offer a man someday and what she will tell her children. That is payday... maybe not now when things seem so bleak but the Lord rewards the faithful.

I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father.
John 14:12,13

Mother Teresa once said "I do not pray for success but rather for faithfulness."

HE is faithful... we need to be faithful... His plans are greater and more vast than our eyes can comprehend.

Sunday Prayer

El Shaddai, El Shaddai,
El-Elyon na Adonia,
Age to age You're still the same,
By the power of the name.
El Shaddai, El Shaddai,
Erkamka na Adonai,
We will praise and lift You high,
El Shaddai.

Through your love and through the ram,
You saved the son of Abraham;
Through the power of your hand,
Turned the sea into dry land.
To the outcast on her knees,
You were the God who really sees,
And by Your might,
You set Your children free.

El Shaddai, El Shaddai,
El-Elyon na Adonia,
Age to age You're still the same,
By the power of the name.
El Shaddai, El Shaddai,
Erkamka na Adonai,
We will praise and lift You high,
El Shaddai.

Through the years You've made it clear,
That the time of Christ was near,
Though the people couldn't see
What Messiah ought to be.
Though Your Word contained the plan,
They just could not understand
Your most awesome work was done
Through the frailty of Your Son.

El Shaddai, El Shaddai,
El-Elyon na Adonai,
Age to age You're still the same,
By the power of the name.
El Shaddai, El Shaddai,
Erkamka na Adonai,
I will praise and lift You high,
El Shaddai.

El Shaddai, El Shaddai,
El-Elyon na Adonai,
Age to age You're still the same,
By the power of the name.
El Shaddai, El Shaddai,
Erkamka na Adonai,
I will praise and lift You high,
El Shaddai.

My Sunday prayer.

Adapt

Now that Zac is back working full time I find it more difficult to manage every aspect of what is going on. Don't get me wrong I am so grateful Zac has a job and can get back out in the work force and make some money. Both of us working full time has pulled on our relationship though. I don't like "making time" for each other. I told my mom today "How sick is it that we work so hard to never see our children or the homes we pay for???"

I suppose this transition time is getting the best of me.

I have one year of school left and I will be a college graduate... I am so grateful on so many levels that I stuck with my passion of staying in school even when everything else in life seemed hazy and made ZERO sense. After this year it will be another transition...

Life is full of transitions.... jobs, children, more children, animals, moving, family....

Letting go is the bottom line. Often times I sink my teeth into something and I don't want to leave it. The comfort is more attractive than the perspective that "this is temporary."

I am constantly reminding myself of that notion. This is purely temporary.

Adapt means:

• make fit for, or change to suit a new purpose;
• adjust: adapt or conform oneself to new or different conditions;

I like the idea to "change to suit a new purpose." Zac and I are realizing that we have a new purpose. That goals are changing and the quicker we embrace them... the sooner peace will set in.

My goal for tomorrow is to adapt and embrace what is going on even in the simple things. I do it for sanity but mostly to grow.

Growing is painful... adapting is a stretch... but God is good.

coupons coupons coupons

You have to check out this site! I don't have time to go through magazines and cut out coupons.

Thank the Lord for a scroll bar!!!

http://www.couponcabin.com/

The Art of a Tantrum

I am staring at a research paper due next week to my left and a load of laundry to my right and I am ignoring both completely. YES! My sweet coco bear is sleeping in the other room and let me tell you... silence is golden...

Tantrums...what kind of emotion does that bring to mind when you hear that word? For me my shoulders tensed and I'm pretty sure my left eye just twitched.

I am still exhausted after quite the tantrum my sweet coco bear threw this morning. I stared at him as he flung his arms and legs on the ground and almost started laughing... why can't adults do this more??!! He convulsed his back and shrieked like I had asked him to give up ice cream the rest of his life. I panicked and looked around trying to find something to bribe him with.

I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened to me.

He finally quieted down and I was able to put his shoes on... Really coco bear?? It's just shoes! I looked around. I really love when people watch and as moms we do the half smile and just talk really high to our children constantly affirming ...

Thank you coco bear for listening to mama! Wow! What a good boy! ...you know what I'm talking about.

At this point I am briskly walking as fast as I can to get away...

I got home sweaty and laid coco bear in his bed...he instantly fell asleep. Poor guy.

Ok this tantrum thing: What am I doing wrong here???

According to 2 doctors that probably have never had children but write about it anyway :)...

Tantrums are:

Temper tantrums are a common behavior problem in preschool children who may express their anger by lying on the floor, kicking, screaming, and occasionally holding their breath (5). Tantrums are natural, especially in children who are not yet able to use words to express their frustrations.

Tantrums typically occur at age 2 to 3 when children are forming a sense of self. The toddler is old enough to have a sense of "me" and "my wants" but is too young to know how to satisfy the want. Tantrums are the result of high energy and low ability to use words to get needs or wants met.

Tantrums typically peak between ages 2 and 3, and start to decline by 4. They usually run their course within a year. Twenty-three to 83 percent of all 2- to 4-year-olds have temper tantrums at least occasionally (2, 3, 7, 8, 15).

Most children throw tantrums in a particular place with a particular person. They usually are a public display after the child has been told "no" to something he or she wants to do. The tantrum usually stops when the child gets his or her wish. What happens with the temper tantrum depends on the child's level of energy and the parent's level of patience and parenting skill

Ok so nothing you don't already know here but I thought it was interesting that children know who will tolerate a tantrum and who won't. My husband just has to give coco bear the stink eye and he will obey. I on the other hand...not so much.

They go on to give some great advice:

1. Learn to deal with your own and others' anger.

When parents discipline out of anger or with expectations that are inappropriate for the age of their child, they often make mistakes in the way they react. The place to begin is with ourselves. When we feel calm, we can model effective anger and conflict management. Example: "I'm so angry at you right now for dumping your cereal all over the clean floor, I feel like hitting you. But I don't hit, so I'm going to leave and come back when I've calmed down."

2. Distract or redirect the child.

When a child is misbehaving, a calm parent can sometimes re-direct the child's behavior. Example: "Here's a bowl of warm water. Let's put it outside where you can splash all you want."

3. Be prompt and brief with discipline.

One technique you can use is to pick up and remove your small child from the room immediately and isolate him or her for two to five minutes. This also gives you time to get in control of your emotions. Two to five minutes are enough; lecturing is unnecessary. In rare circumstances, it may be helpful to physically hold the child. Be consistent in enforcing rules, especially with older, school-age children. Example: "I'm putting you in your room for 'time out' until you calm down and are ready to talk again." "I want you to go to your room now and stay there until you are ready to come out and use words to ask for what you want rather than spitting on people."

4. Try to discover the reason for your child's anger or temper tantrum.

What does he or she want and is not getting? The reasons children have temper tantrums vary: to get attention, get someone to listen, protest not getting their way, get out of doing something they do not want to do, punish a parent for going away, for power, for revenge, from fear of abandonment, etc. Let the child know the behavior is unacceptable. Talk calmly. Example: "Now that we're out of the store and we've both had a chance to calm down, let's talk. I think you were mad at me that I said no to buying the candy you wanted. Is that right?" ... "It is OK for you to be angry at me, but kicking, screaming and yelling that you want candy won’t work. It won’t get me to buy you the candy.”

5. Avoid shaming your child about being angry.

Children in healthy families are allowed to express all their feelings, whether they are pleasant or unpleasant.They are not criticized or punished for having and expressing feelings appropriately, including anger. Some research studies have found that parents' shaming their child's anger can negatively affect their child's willingness to relieve distress in others (10). Example: "You look and sound angry right now. I'd feel angry too if someone messed up my coloring like she messed up yours."

6. Teach children about intensity levels of anger.

By using different words to describe the intensity of angry feelings (e.g., annoyed, aggravated, irritated, frustrated, angry, furious, enraged), children as young as 2 1/2 can learn to understand that anger is a complex emotion with different levels of energy (10). Example: "I was annoyed when I had a hot meal ready and all of you were late for dinner." "That man was so angry -- I think he was enraged after someone spray painted his business with graffiti."

7. Set clear limits and high expectations for anger management, appropriate for your child's age, abilities, and temperament.

As parents, we will be angry all the time if we expect our 1-year-old to be toilet trained, our 2-year-old to use 5-year-old words rather than have a temper tantrum, our shy 8-year-old to be a life-of-the-party magician, and our low self-esteem 15-year-old to snap out of her depressed "funk" and run for Student Council President. Example: "While I want you to know it's OK to feel angry, it's not OK to hit others!" "I expect you to help with chores, control your anger without hitting, biting or spitting. I expect you to be honest and thoughtful of others, do your best in school, ask for what you want, and treat others as you would like to be treated."

8. Notice, compliment and reward appropriate behavior.

Teaching your child to do the right things is better (and easier) than constantly punishing bad behavior. Children who get a steady diet of attention only for bad behavior tend to repeat those behaviors because they learn that is the best way to get our attention, especially if we tend to be overly authoritarian. Example: "I really liked the way you asked Uncle Charlie to play ball with you." "Thanks, Ebony, for calling me beforehand and asking if you could change your plans and go over to your friend's house after school."

9. Maintain open communication with your child.

Consistently and firmly enforce rules and explain the reasons for the rules in words your child can understand. Still, you can listen well to your child's protests about having to take a national test or measles shot. Example: "Sounds like you are angry at the school rule that says you can't wear shorts, sandals and tank tops to school."

10. Teach understanding and empathy by calling your child's attention to the effects of his or her actions on others.

Invite the child to see the situation from the other person's point of view. Healthy children feel remorse when they do something that hurts another. Authoritative discipline helps them develop an internal sense of right and wrong. Remember, a little guilt goes a long way, especially with a child. Example: "Let's see if we can figure out what happened. First she did her 'nah, nah, nah routine.' Next, I saw you take her doll. Then she came and hit you, and you hit her back."

Alright. This is making more sense. For some women parenting and correcting their children comes naturally. For me? Not so much. My goal for today is to talk it out with coco bear and give myself a minute to breathe. Gosh, how often do we forget to breathe? As I read some of these points the Lord spoke to me.

How does the God respond when we throw tantrums? Does he yell back? Quiver? Let us walk all over him?

No no... That's the point. I am the parent. He is the child. God is God and we are not.

*Big Sigh*

Let's all remember His Grace as we figure out where ours is hiding...

These wash clothes won't fold themselves and this paper won't write it's self... off for now.

http://www.ext.colostate.edu/PUBS/CONSUMER/10248.html