20 children were massacred today. 6 Adults.
Massacred. Shot in their innocent bodies as their hearts cried for their mommies and daddies.
I cried a lot today. Painful crying. Sick, knot in stomach crying.
And yet, I know God works in mysterious ways. He never caused this. I don't think he is punishing us for taking prayer out of schools. For electing a democrat as a president.
Ludicrous. The world has been crazy since Adam and Eve deliberately disobeyed him. Nothing shocks him. He's in control. And still... my heart heaved.
I think Maya Angelou said it best today:
Our country is grieving. Each child who has been slaughtered belongs to each of us and each slain adult is a member of our family. It is impossible to explain the horror to ourselves and to our survivors. We need to hold each other’s hands and look into each other’s eyes and say, “I am sorry."
It is impossible to understand this kind of slaughtering. It is impossible as parents who have never lost a child to wrap our heads around someone who we don't know steals our world that is so precious. Removing innocents from our lives like they are nothing to us.
The face I kept seeing is Cohen's.
How would he have reacted to a man with a gun coming in his classroom? Pointing it to his small frame?
What would his last thoughts be?
These thoughts kept bringing heavy tears to my eyes.
I imagine that there were a slew of angels walking in with this man so full of evil. Vibrant and beautiful, fresh from the throne room. God, sending his most sensitive and loving celestial beings.
I imagine these incredible angels hitting this world with a thump as they trailed behind the mass murderer. I imagine they held the door open for one another as they looked at one another. I imagine even they sighed a deep, heavy sigh. Ready to usher these children that God listed by name into another realm.
I imagine they walked behind each of those children before they were brutally shot. I imagine each angel put a gentle hand on each of the precious lives as their bodies were torn apart by the evil that took their physical bodies.
I imagine the children's souls saw the angels and not the chaos around them. That each of them smiling and looking at each other walked through the brutality outside. Unaware. I imagine one brilliant and kind angel smiled at each of their faces, knowing them each by name. Telling them of the incredible love and kindness that awaited them.
Then gone.
Gone to a place with no pain, no hate, no discouragement....
No evil.
I held Cohen tight tonight. I know his destiny lies in that of his creator. It doesn't mean I grieved hard. Really hard. I watched at his school as parents ran to pick up their kids, looking at them like they hadn't seen them in years. It touched me.
And tonight I think of all the parents who don't have a child to put to bed. To argue with about brushing their teeth. To read to. To cuddle with.
I imagine these children playing in the arms of the one that crafted them so brilliantly. Always safe in his arms.
Genesis 50:20
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