Real Men

I read this from a blog titled God Said it Best and I thought it was powerful enough to share. Word for word. Enjoy.



"I was listening to the radio as I was driving home from dance class on Tuesday. The DJ posed the question: "What should guys never do because it will detract from their manliness?" One woman called in and talked about how her husband decorated their home perfectly-much better than she ever could have. I wanted to cry right then. It was obvious that she had less respect for her husband, rather than more, because of his ability to decorate. I couldn't help but think that there is absolutely no reason someone should look at a male as any less of a man just because he can decorate, or can design clothes, or can cook, or enjoys watching Project Runway. Why do we have to stereotype "men's" and "women's" activities, and if you enjoy an activity in the other gender's "category" it detracts from who you are?

This whole thought process got me thinking about what it TRULY means to be a man or woman. Immediately, the passage of Titus 2 came to mind. In this post I'm going to talk about what it really means to be a man. In a following post I'm going to talk about what it really means to be a woman.

(Disclaimer: In this post, I'm going to use the term "man" to refer to a male who has achieved or is striving to achieve the spiritual characteristics discussed in this post. "Guy" refers to a male who is an adult but has not achieved these characteristics. "Boy", of course, is a male who is neither spiritually nor physically mature. )

Titus 2:2, 6-8Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us. So, according to these verses, what characteristics should a man possess?

1. Temperate A real man is able to control his emotions. He does not let anger, frustration, or any other emotion get the best of him. He controls his emotions, his emotions do not control him. Let it be noted that this does not by any stretch of the imagination mean a man should be emotion-LESS. It simply means that a man's emotions should not control how he acts.

2. Worthy of respect Simply put, a real man should show Christlike character. People should look at him as someone of good character and reputation.

3. Self-controlled This goes hand in hand with temperance. While temperance means that a man controls his emotions, self-control simply means that a man controls his actions.

4. Sound in faith A real man knows what he believes and does not compromise that. A real man has a firm foundation in God and His Word.

5. Sound in love A real man knows what love is, and how to show it to others. This is not the mushy-gushy feeling kind of love. This is Christlike love.

6. Sound in endurance A real man does not give up easily. His character is able to endure even when tested.

7. Seriousness This does not mean that a man cannot be funny. Rather, a man knows the proper time to be funny, but also knows when the time is not proper and is serious when he needs to be.

8. Soundness of speech A man guards his mouth. He uses his words to edify and exhort others, never to tear them down.

9. Set...an example I left this one until last because this is the one that I really want to expound upon. A man is a leader. This does not necessarily mean that he is in a position of leadership, but he always sets a good examples for those who watch him. Although not explicitly stated in Titus 2, a man also needs to be a leader with women. (Not necessarily all women in all circumstances, but as a general rule.)

I know some will disagree with me on this point, but in my study of Scripture I have come to the firm conclusion that God meant for men to be the leaders. Obviously there will be some areas when women are better suited to be leaders (a women's Bible study, for example). But as a general rule, God designed men to lead and women to follow.

This does not mean that men should "rule over" women. But men need to step up to the plate, to be the initiators and leaders, especially in relational and spiritual matters. This really is the best way, because it is the way God designed things to be.

As I have taken dance classes for the past few weeks, God has used them as an object lesson for me as to how He meant for men and women to relate to each other. See, in today's society and culture, guys do not know how to lead. In dance class, most of the guys don't know how to lead. Sometimes guys try to "rule over" women, and make things rough for them. If a guy is too rough with the girl in dance, he will hurt her. Other guys are timid and don't really want to lead. When this happens in dance, the results are disastrous. If the guy doesn't lead, the girl doesn't know what to do and the dance becomes a complete mess. Some guys try to lead but simply don't know how. Their lack of experience shows. Sometimes they give girls the wrong signals (and as the teacher says "Don't tell her something you don't mean!") Their shoulders are tense, and it is difficult to follow them even though they are really trying. The more they lead, the more they relax and the easier it is to follow.

Then you get the guys who have done it. They're no longer guys trying to be men. They've learned how to lead. They've become men. In dance, these guys make the best partners. In life, they make the best people.

And it's so refreshing when you finally come across a real man. Last Tuesday I danced with several guys in a row who either didn't lead, or were really tense. As much as I enjoy dancing, I wasn't able to enjoy it to the fullest extent possible with these guys as my partners. But after dancing with several inexperienced partners in a row, I got paired with Jordan, who has obviously danced a lot before. The difference was astounding. The first thing I noticed and mentioned when I placed my hand on his shoulder was "Your shoulders aren't tense!" And for the brief two minutes that I got to dance with him, I probably had more fun than in the rest of the class combined. He knew what he was doing, and he led me perfectly. He wasn't rough at all, in fact he was the most gentle of all the guys I danced with, but I always knew exactly what he wanted me to do. The fact that he led well made things so much easier for me. This is the way it is in life as well. When men lead, it makes things so much easier for women. Not easier because the women are getting out of leading-rather, it makes it easier because it frees up the women to do what they were meant to do (something I will be discussing in my next post).

The world, the church, and many wonderful Christian women are looking for men. Men who will step up and lead the church, men who will step up and lead their families, men who will step up and lead in their relationships. Have you ever ended up in a situation with a guy where you weren't sure where the relationship stood? A man steps up to the plate and guides the relationship. A guy will play around with girls' hearts. A real man realizes how precious a woman's heart really is, and will treat the heart, and consequently the woman, with care and respect.

Someone made a comment tonight about how God is sexist because He's male. While the comment was made in jest and not meant to be taken seriously, it made me wonder "What if God was female?" And I realized that the thought of God as a woman truly scared me. God made men to be the leaders and protectors of women because that's what God does for all of us! God leads us and protects us. Loves us and cares for us. That is what men need to do. Be leaders, especially in church and family. Always be ready to defend and protect the weaker (women, children, elderly, sick, etc.). Love and care for all. This is what a real man does.

God bless men."

Making Sense in the Nonsensicle

I find that there are times in life when things just seem...nonsensicle. Nothing is lining up they way you thought. The car, the house, the kids, the husband....everything seems to be falling apart. The cosmos is sending all sorts of negative karma your direction.

This happens to me. Yes, yes.

Often times I think that the world around me is falling apart before my glazed eyes. But then I think...

Maybe I'm the one who is off balance and seeing the world in a way I shouldn't?

Part of being a Type A, highly motivated and driven individual is the need to understand.

IF I JUST UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON I CAN FIX IT!!!!!

I am at a point in my life where I don't understand a whole lot.

I am adjusting to the changes that come when siblings get older, married, move away...

I am adjusting to firmly establishing my identity apart from my life under my parent's house...

I am adjusting to the reality that Cohen understands and perceives life entirely. The memories we are making he will probably remember...

I am adjusting to the fact that I am graduating in May and don't know what's next...

I am adjusting to resurfaced pain of sin done against me...

I am adjusting my health, realizing that I have not been taking care of it like I should...

When all of these adjustments sweep in like a thundering tidal wave it can be....well... nonsensical.

I hold fast the call over my life and I am eagerly pursuing His heart for me.

So I have made a few changes....

1. I am doing yoga 3 times a week an hour at a time for relaxation purposes
2. I have eliminated caffeine from my diet completely
3. I am not allowing Cohen to sleep in our bed!! I never sleep!!
4. I am allowing myself to feel more and not to fear my pain but embrace it
5. I am going to bake more even if I don't eat any of it
6. I am going to take more alone time for myself so I can be a better wife and mother
7. I am going to relinquish my fears of falling apart
8. I am going to release those who have hurt me and truly forgive
9. I will concentrate on my homework diligently and finish the race strong
10. I will find at least one thing to laugh about everyday
11. I will spend time talking with God instead of at him.

**I will make sense in the nonsensical**

When Peace Seems Out of Reach

Brace Yourself...

I'm feeling a bit honest. :)

It was 1:15 AM when I woke up last night. I heard Cohen scratching on his door so I flung the covers off and walked into his room to grab him. I picked him up and lay down with him in my bed. He cuddled close to me and smiled.

And then, for some odd reason I began to sweat. A lot.

I began to worry if I had a fever again (seriously, this infection won’t leave my body) and the thought of going through another night of night sweats began to terrify me. I sat up in bed and rubbed my hands through my hair.

My hands were soaked with sweat.

I crawled out of bed to get a drink of water and as I walked I couldn’t feel the ground underneath me. I was holding onto the wall as my heart beat out of my chest. I could hear it beating in my toes, my hands, and my stomach…

I struggled to get back to Zac. I woke him up and showed him how fast my heart was beating and how much I was sweating. I was so caught up in the moment that when Zac grabbed my arms and said “Mackenzie, are you anxious about anything?”

I moved away from him.

Was I really having a panic attack?

I ran from the room to the kitchen. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this.

I wasn’t sick: I was having a panic attack.

My heart beat fiercely in my chest. For any of you that have had a panic attack, doctors describe it as the closest thing to having a heart attack. And it was.

I knew all the things I had to do: Control Breathing, Find a Picture to Focus on, Contain Your Thoughts, Release Your Fear…

But at 1:30 in the morning everything is hazy and nothing seems to make sense. I was shaking violently when Cohen came out of our room to see what was going on. Zac escorted him back to our bed and told him “Mommy is sick, let’s pray for her ok?” Then I could hear faintly the whispers of a little boy praying for his mommy.

And there I sat on the steps rocking and trembling. All I could think is: Get a Grip Mackenzie, Get a Grip Mackenzie, GET A GRIP!!! PULL IT TOGETHER!!

My mind was racing and I couldn’t bring my mind back to a place where it was sound. Zac was still lying with Cohen when I stumbled into Cohen’s bedroom and lay on the floor. My breathing had grown deeper, my heart had slowed the pace but I was wired. My head was racing. I rocked myself in front of a heater as my limbs were still shaking.

A panic attack is a violent experience.

A wave of nausea swept over me as I lay on the floor. My shirt moist with sweat and my hands clammy and cold. When Cohen fell asleep Zac watched me as I stared into the heater. I had no words. I had nothing to say. I wasn’t even in reality. I couldn’t’ explain why it had happened. I couldn’t explain why anxiety happens to me.

It just does.

Zac watched me as I zoned off into another world. My mind would not stop. It was those old arcade games when the ball gets shot off into every direction. My physical symptoms may have stopped after 28 minutes but my mind raced for another 3 hours.

I told Zac I needed to be alone for a while and apologized for waking him up. I had nothing to say to him. Or to Cohen for that matter.

This was my own battle.

I stared at the heater and looked down at my phone: 3:15am. I had been staring off into nothingness for almost two hours. I couldn’t sleep. I rested my head on the floor and grabbed one of Cohen’s baby blankets to put over myself.

I wish I could have cried, but I couldn’t.

Tears wouldn’t come even if I tried. I was completely numb.

I began to demand God for peace and demand that I can’t keep living like this. I felt dizzy and out of sorts but the adrenaline from hours earlier lingered in my body.

I put on worship music to try to ease my nerves but nothing was working. Nothing was working and I felt that no one was there. My mind was running around trying to make sense of what was going on. I couldn’t focus my thoughts long enough before I began to feel nauseated again.

Do you ever feel like you are being tested?

I lay in Cohen’s bed and looked at the time: 4:12am. I knew I was exhausted but my body was not done with me yet.

Cohen was God’s grace to me when my life was out of control. God woke me up by allowing me to birth Cohen.

What are you waking me up to now God?

I find that my life works in extremes. Since I have been on bed rest for almost a week now my mind has been racing far more than it should. The pressure of not being able to go to school and not being able to work has worn me down.

I don’t know how to convey this message without sounding like a victim. I have always battled a looming sense of fear that I won’t live to see Cohen grow up, I won’t be able to grow old with Zac and I will never be free of the self loathing that beats me down.

I know I’m not the only person who walks through this.

I love my life, my family, my school and my job but for some reason my body can’t handle it. My body is telling me that I have to make a change.

I don’t know how to do that. At all.

I finally fell asleep only to wake up 2 hours later to take Cohen to school. We didn’t talk the entire ride to school. As I got him out of the car he asked “You ok mom?”

I answered honestly…

“I’m not sure Cohen. I hope so.”

Today I still feel the remnants of last night. I am lethargic and still sick from my infection. My body screams STOP but my life screams GO.

I have no idea where the balance of my life is anymore. I don’t know what it means to be a healthy and whole human being when it comes to health. I don’t think I’m crazy but I don’t think I’m well.

It’s a journey… and God knows.

Just....Where I'm At

Don't watch the video. It's dumb. Just read the lyrics. It's where I'm at right now at this point. I found it on an old CD and just started to sob. No, it's not about Zac. It pulls other heart strings that I try to avoid. Until tonight.

I love The Veronicas.

Lyrics:


"Nobody Wins"

Hold your head up high
You're never wrong
Somewhere in the right you belong
You would rather fight than walk away
What a lonely way to breathe the air
What an unlovely way to say you care
Now we're too far gone for me to save
And I never thought that we'd come to this

Maybe there's beauty in goodbye
(no one's wrong or right, you would rather fight, then you walk away)
There's just no reason left to try
(now it's gone too far, look at where we are)
You push me away
Another black day
Let's count up the reasons to cry
Look what you've missed, living like this
Nobody wins (nobody wins)

Searching for the truth in your eyes
Found myself so lost don't recognize
The person now that you, you claim to be
Don't know when to stop, or where to start
You're just so caught up in who you are
Now you're far too high for me to see
I'd never thought that we'd come to this

Maybe there's beauty in goodbye
(no one's wrong or right, you're about fly, then you walk away)
There's just no reason left to try
(now it's gone too far, look at where we are)
You push me away
Another black day
Let's count up the reasons to cry
Look what you've missed, living like this
Nobody wins (nobody wins)

You never say you're sorry
Try to tell me that you love me
But don't - it's too late to take it there

Maybe there's beauty in goodbye
(no one's wrong or right, you're about fly, then you walk away)
There's just no reason left to try
(now it's gone too far, look at where we are)
You push me away
Another black day
Let's count up the reasons to cry
Look what you've missed, living like this
Nobody wins

(Now it's gone too far, look at where we are)

Nobody wins 

My Husband, Zac.

It goes without saying that when you're married you obviously love the person you are married to---at least I hope so. It is true in my case as well.

I love my Zac.

I pondered for awhile today on the overwhelming importance of being married to someone you trust and rely on. Someone who sees you. Someone who sees past a "fat day" and into the hurting depths of who you are.

That is my Zac. But alas, it was not always that way.

Our first year of marriage was rocky, as it is for most couples, but unlike other couples Zac and I were thrown into a whirlwind of marriage and a family. All in one. All at once. All the time. It was difficult to make time for each other and when we did we were just exhausted. It broke down many levels of communication between us and at times described our relationship as simply roommates. We knew how to do "roommate"... we did it for a year while I was living in Fort Collins.

But we both realized we didn't want to be roommates anymore. Something had to change.

It meant saying no to friends and yes to each other.

It meant swallowing one's pride, daily, hourly...ok like every second.

It meant putting our relationship before Cohen. Marriage comes before children, I will always believe that.

It meant making time for each other, even if we were exhausted.

It meant getting up earlier so we could have an hour by ourselves.

It meant buying less so we wouldn't have to work more.

Wow. World. Of. Difference.

Honest to goodness we fell in love all over again.

What I love about Zac the most is his incredible (and I mean incredible) ability to make friends with anyone. You know that guy you knew in high school who was friends with everyone?! That was Zac. He is a magnet for hurting people, funny people, popular people, nerds and interestingly enough... outcasts.

I have drastically learned to extend myself to others being married to Zac.

I love that he never shies away from be spontaneous. He gets and idea and he goes! Now I am the planner...so... we balance out nicely. But when he gets excited and gets fire behind an adventure...there is no stopping him.

I love that he pretends to hit on me in the grocery store, mall or something of the like. I mean, at the core, he really is just a big flirt. I love it when we act like total strangers, soo hilarious... "So, my place or yours?" as Cohen screams "DADDDDDDDDDA!!!!"

I love that he deeply cares about his role as a father. I never knew how sexy fatherhood could be until Cohen got older and we could really "parent." I am astounded at the amazing level of maturity that comes from his mouth when we rebuke, correct and train for righteousness. He is proud of his role. And that my friends, is such a gift to me, the mama.

I love that he has made me a mountain girl. No one from high school or even college would believe me if I told them I'm a mountain girl now. I still am hesitant about the snow but I will hike and bike until Zac tells me to stop. One of the most bonding moments for the 2 of us is when he took me biking in Garden of the Gods (p.s. SOOOOO HARD!!) and we were going up a really hard hill. Zac made it up there in 2 minutes... I got up halfway up the hill, threw up on the side of the rode, wiped my mouth off and kept biking. I don't think I have ever been more sexy to Zac in my whole life (I'm completely serious).

I love that he challenges my thinking. He never allows me to be completely satisfied with an idea or a perspective. He is the devil's advocate in almost any setting but is caring. So very caring.

I love that he lets me be me. He understands that I need time by myself and understands that school plus work equals a tired mama. But his caring heart is what draws me to him. He is constantly endearing himself to me. :)

I could go on and on and on. I guess I'm just feeling sappy. Who knows. I wanted to dote on a man who I have been with for four or so years and have known since I was an awkward 6th grader. He was the first boy that ever held my hand in 8th grade and the first boy who told me I was the most beautiful girl in the world. He wrote me the sweetest, corniest valentines note when we were both 13. I still have it.

I love being married to my best friend. It makes me smile. Everyday.

The Perfect Question

Cohen grounds me. He reminds me how human I really am. He kisses my face and tells me I am his princess. He lies his head on my stomach and smiles big. He shows me Jesus. Everyday.

That is why tonight's experience opened my eyes. It gently reminded me of the incredible role I have.

Again, typically night at school. I have health psychology tonight from 7-10pm and frankly I just was not in the mood to go. I love to learn, yes. But tonight, I was missing my Cohen. I hadn't seen him all day and going to class would mean I wouldn't see him until morning. Blah, blah, blah... victim, victim, victim.

One more semester Mackenzie, you got this. Haha, you should really see me... I actually give myself a pep talk before some of the classes. :)

I strolled into my class where we are packed like sardines. There are 55+ of all of us and we are crammed in those little desks (that I swear were made for 2nd graders). I nonchalantly sat down in middle row/middle desk seat. For some reason I was super fidgety. I played with my hair, chewed my gum like a drug and tapped by impatient foot against the desk in front of me.

Our pleasantly plump precious teacher stood up at the front and with a big toothy grin informed the class that we were going to do a fun little ice breaker.

Am I the only one that hates ice breakers?

Half the class rolled their eyes and the other half I'm sure could careless. Here we are.... college students... playing an ice breaker game. Awesome.

I was relatively thrilled because any chance to not sit in those desks was a fantastic idea.

We played an ice breaker that involved the teacher declaring "this or that" statements. For example: Are you more of a tortoise or a hare? Do you consider yourself a liquor cabinet or a book shelf? Do you like the beach or the mountains? Are you a cat or a dog?

They are silly in nature but the class trekked back and forth in the tiny classroom. Most of the time we are all laughing. I mean the questions were just so outlandish! Of course, most of the kids decided they were "liquor cabinets" (I mean really... we're in college) and other times I could hear jokes about the dog vs. cat debate (do you realize that people actually get heated over cats??!!). Then she asked a hilarious questions,"Are you a Colorado person or a Texas person? HA! The entire class ran to the left side of the classroom. No one would be caught dead saying they chose Texas over Colorado. I was in the very front of the massive group to the left as we all smashed into each other. We were all laughing and commenting on the great nation of Texas.

Then my teacher smiled her big tooth smile and stated her next question "If you have kids go to the right, if you don't stay to the left."

I tousled my hair, pulled on my jacket and walked to the right side of the classroom. I walked confidently. I kept thinking about Cohen and his big fat wet kisses, his laugh that is contagious, his ability to manipulate me into giving him cookies and his strange fascination with scissors. Time seemed to slow down as I walked 9 steps to the other side of the room.

Then I turned around still smiling. I looked quickly to my left and right sides. A shrill of adrenaline came over me, the introvert.

No one was next to me. Did I just walk the plank?

Immediately I thought I would be embarrassed and upset. I thought I would play dumb and run to the other end of the room. I thought I would make up some excuse about being a mom and how it was an accident.

But there I stood, hands twitching, looking at the 100+ eyes darting their attention strait at me.

I never wanted to be a mom. I never wanted kids. I didn't enjoy kids. I was completely set on being selfish for the rest of my life and perhaps---eh---maybe kids when I was 40. And actually, probably just one. I remember years earlier standing in my college freshman English class 6 months pregnant with Cohen and telling the class that I was expecting a baby. No one knew. I wasn't proud. I wasn't enthusiastic. I wasn't ecstatic. And I didn't care. About anyone. I resented my big bump that was my child.

This moment mirrored that moment to a tee. I was almost on the verge of tears. It was a painfully emotional moment for me. When we are faced with life the way we knew and the life as we know it now... it hurts.

I shrugged those horrid feelings off and sighed.

I stood for the first time in front of a classroom proud of my label. Proud of being a mother. Proud to look into each of their 100+ eyes and smile knowing that yes I was different than them but my severe loyalty as a mother won over.

To the back I heard a guy yell "You look like you're 17!"

Instead of being resentful, I smiled and said "I hope he's saying that in 20 years!"

Everyone laughed. Awww yes, the real ice breaker was now made.

I closed my eyes for a moment and pictured my baby boy. What a gift I have been given and what an incredible little boy to be so proud of.

The teacher was finished with her questions and we all scurried back to our seats. I felt an overwhelming peace.

I was different than everyone else. But that's ok. I'm young. But that's ok.

I was proud.

And that reminder my friends, was a big wet kiss from my Abba.

I...

met and interesting woman tonight.

There I was in my Theories of Personality class student #59 racing to my seat as the clock struck 4:30pm on the dot. It is a large class of about 100 students. Most everyone is chatting and the term "clanging symbol" came to mind. Colorful characters strewn about as I opened the classroom door.

Wow this is a rowdy group, I thought.

I sat at the only chair that seemed to be last in the very last row of the class. It is always such a sight to walk slowly up the steps to your seat.

Is my hair a mess? Probably. Is my fly down? Who knows, Can't check now I have too many books in my hand. Is everyone staring at me? Eh, like I really care.

I threw my books on the table, took off my twelve layers of clothing (don'tcha love Colorado) and plopped in my seat. I was not in the mood to talk to anyone. I have two 3 hour classes on Monday nights and the quicker I can get them over with the better.

I looked to my left and an overweight middle eastern girl who had a face that was flawless (Her skin was like a dolls!) was sitting next to me. She was quiet but fidgeting. She was probably in her late twenties but dressed like she was in high school. Wait, who am I kidding. I still dress like I did in high school. I accidentally made eye contact with her as I grabbed a pen out of my purse and smiled.

She didn't smile back. In fact, she flat out rolled her eyes at me.

So here I am, exhausted and a bit grumpy not wanting to extend myself in the least bit. I mean, she obviously didn't want to talk and the lecture was starting soon so it was fine.

Just a typical college class right?

MMMMMMMMMMM nope.

I pulled out my folder and opened my book as the teacher posed this question to the class...

We are going to get to know one another. Get into a small group and talk about what you think defines you. What is your personality?

Great. Here I am in the very back corner of the class. Which means rolly-eye-girl and I were going to be partners. I truly wanted to extend myself but frankly, I am an introvert. Since it's a personality class can't I just say I'm introverted to her and then get back to work?

I looked at her and gave all my effort to put on a really good face. Like seriously, gave all my effort.

Hi, I'm Mackenzie, what is your name?

Melissa.

Awesome! What's your major here?

I'm doubling degrees and minors.

Nice! That must be a ton of work. How impressive. What would that be in?

Forensics and Psychology. I want to be a forensic psychologist at some point.

Interesting... that must be a really cool avenue of study.

Yeah it is. So what's your major?

Well I have changed a bunch. I decided to move away from English Education as student teaching doesn't work with my work schedule and my mommy/wife schedule.

You have a kid? You're way too young.

(Wanting to roll my eyes) Yes, I know I was really young. Do you have kids?

Nope, screw that sh*t, I hate kids.

Me...trying to change the subject. Are you married?

I f*cking hate men too. I divorced my husband last year. We had a contractual marriage and he fell in love with me. I don't want kids, I don't a marriage and frankly you'll probably be the only person I will ever talk to in this class.

(Me, completely stunned but trying to stay calm... I see a lot of hurt, a LOT of hurt in her eyes) Well Melissa, you don't have to talk to me if you don't want to but I'll always lend a listening ear.

Yeah yeah thanks.

*Awkward silence*

(Me, really going out on a limb... I swear the words just dripped out of my mouth) Is there anything I can help you with Melissa?

Nawww. I'm just ready to get my degree and do something with my life.

I understand...we're not that different. We both seem like introverts. We have the same personality (laughter). Should be a fun class!

The teacher interrupted everyone to get back to the lecture. I felt a strange sense of sadness for Melissa. She was in the military, alone and with no one who supported her. I was the only person who had probably tapped into her reality in a long time.

I smiled at her the rest of the 3 hours but didn't say anything to her. I didn't know what to say. How do you tell someone who has lost almost everything and are hurting soo bad that God loves and sees them?

I got all my books and smiled good-bye to Melissa as I scurried to my next class.

The Lord spoke to me as I climbed the 3 flights of stairs.

Mackenzie, you don't have to tell her that I love her. You are me to her. Just listen to her, show up for her, you are intuitive. Why do you think you sat next to her out of the 100 seats in the class?

I prayed for Melissa. Her heartache is real and obviously the wounds of something are so far deeper than I thought.

Who have you sat next to recently? Who have you engaged in conversation with?

I make it a goal each day to look strangers in the eye and smile. You'd be amazed by what happens. Some people are scared, some look away, some smile back and sometimes if you extend just a little bit more... they open up.

We all have a story. But are you willing to listen to someone elses?